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The Lauraville Pet Gazette
Vol. 1, No. 1 · April 2025 · Lauraville, Baltimore, MD · Distributed Free
Editor's Note
Spring has arrived in Lauraville, and with it: love, grief, unanswered questions, and at least one brown cat who has found a second home he was not offered. This inaugural issue goes to press with a full slate of neighborhood affairs — affairs of the heart, of the territory, and of the dinner bowl. We note also the presence of a stranger among us, orange and limping, whose story is not yet known. We publish in hope that it will be. — The Editors
💘 Romantic Entanglements
— Personal Notice —
Kyoto
Dog · Japanese Spitz · Seeking Companionship
Gentleman seeks companion. My name is Kyoto — three years of age, male Japanese Spitz, recently arrived in Lauraville following a relocation from Sandtown-Winchester made possible by the good people at BARCS, Baltimore's Animal Rescue & Care Shelter, to whom I owe no small debt of gratitude. I am told I have an exceptional coat and a calm disposition, and I will not dispute either characterization. I am looking for a partner of warmth and substance, someone who appreciates a quiet evening as much as an enthusiastic walk, and who does not find sincerity embarrassing. I am ready for something real. — Kyoto, Lauraville
🕯️ Obituaries
Hank
Cat · Feral · Lauraville Resident, Est. 2019–2025
It is with heavy hearts that the Gazette announces the passing of Hank, a feral cat who kept the back lots of Peach Street for no fewer than six years and never once sought anyone's permission to do so. He was a private individual. He kept his own schedule, observed a strict no-contact policy with humans and most other cats, and conducted himself throughout his tenure in this neighborhood with the bearing of a creature who had seen things and chosen not to discuss them. He leaves behind no known survivors, only a hollow beneath the Callahan fence that still carries his shape. Neighbors are urged — firmly and without equivocation — to inspect their properties for rodent poison; the circumstances of Hank's death remain a matter this Gazette considers unresolved and serious.
📰 Community Notices & General Intelligence
Unidentified Brown Cat, Ailsa Ave.
Cat · Male · At Large · Third Dinner Confirmed
The Gazette has received credible reports that an unidentified brown male cat of no fixed address has been presenting himself nightly at a barn on Ailsa Ave., where he has been observed consuming what sources describe as a supplemental — and entirely unsolicited — third dinner. He arrives, witnesses confirm, with the bearing of a cat who has been invited. He has not been invited. Photographic evidence has been obtained and is reproduced herein; the subject appears, by all visual indications, completely unbothered. If you recognize this individual, he owes someone an explanation and possibly restitution.
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🔍 Wanted: Crimes & Suspicious Activity
Person of Interest: Orange Tom, Catalpa Rd.
Cat · Male · Orange · Front Paw Limp · Whereabouts Unknown
This Gazette wishes to report both a person of interest and a welfare concern, as the two appear to be one and the same. Tufts of orange fur were discovered on porch chair cushions on Catalpa Road following a recent rainstorm, consistent with an orange tom cat who has been observed in the area, riling up the resident cats at the house in question — Winter and Westley, two indoor cats who have made clear they are not accepting applications for a third member of their fraternity. The subject was last seen carrying a front-paw limp of unknown origin or severity. The household wishes it known that while he is welcome to recover and carry on elsewhere, his wellbeing is genuinely of concern to them. Anyone with information on this orange tom's whereabouts or condition is encouraged to come forward.